I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
