sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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