Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
