Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
