I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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