White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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