Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
