The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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