im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
