Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
