i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
