I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
