you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
