Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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