theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
