Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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