Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
