Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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