Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
