Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
