You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just had sex bonerless
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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