vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
