oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
