my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
