My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
jump out the window naked night went bad
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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