the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
