I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
