God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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