It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
