um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
