I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
