Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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