He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
