i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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