Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
