So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
