onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
