Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
