At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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