I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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