I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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