Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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