I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Randomize
