Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
