Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
