Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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