It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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