Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
