well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
