I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
