if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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