Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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