he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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