Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
